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There's an anorexic patient with me in the mental health ward. I've never heard her speak or touch her lips to the plastic hospital food. Her skull is wrapped in the alien fingers of a pale feeding tube. And I wonder if she's still the keeper of her soul. Her wrists are as frail as the silver threads of delicate spider webs. Her skin is fragile and paper-soft. I've never heard her speak or touch her lips. She's just another patient (without a name). Her eyes are lifeless, lost. And I wonder what that makes me; another patient who sees only her disease.

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I've been called a dyke or a lesbian, more than twenty times Those names still ring subconsciously inside my tiny ears The ones who scream it along with my name, will never know the damage that they've caused It is an issue when you no longer want to be you That stage hasn't started, but I'm sure it's not too far People who are cruel don't even know my secrets They guess at who I am but they will never know Since when have they taken the time to try and know my real identity? Bisexual, Pansexual, Transgender or gay In the end it doesn't matter, As long as they think I am different! Normal is a word they try to use, Categories

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I've heard so many people tell those who suffer depression to just 'cheer up.' I wonder if they can really believe that it's that simple. Depression isn't just sadness. It is emptiness, it is misery. It is pain and nothingness at once. When you are truly depressed you lack the ability or will to cheer yourself up. No one just 'has depression.' You suffer from it. This is depression: You will wake at 5, 6, maybe 7am, feeling as though you had only just fallen asleep. It's likely you did. If you don't have to be somewhere, you could lie in bed for another 3 hours...too tired, too miserable and pathetic to crawl out of you bed. Or maybe you wi

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Poetry?

vodkashotsandvaliumshakes bleedingwristandpulsingvein stifledcriesandnightmaremind leavemealoneandholdme

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I'm a one girl car wreck On a bridge to nowhere My hair is limp and dull, but dyed red to fool you into thinking That I am blazing, confident I bite my nails, tear my hair Pick my skin and scream distortions I'm not as pretty as you think But you ignore the bruises and scars I'm a fucking wreck baby And I'll pull you down with me I will drag you into the depths but I can't help you back out (unless you are here to save me) I am not real I am just that beautiful mess That everyone wants to fix... but no one can I will make you cry and I will make you hurt I'm a fucking whore but I'm a prude Who'll use you just to feel lov

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The Bus Stop Dialogues

I. A young man at the bus stop turns to me and softly asks "Why aren't you wearing shoes?" He taps the faded leather of his suedo-skin and his eyes smile in a gentle lilt before his mouth does. I tell him that I like to feel the earth breathe. That textures keep my mind alive and ticking like a clock. I tell him that I'm trying to grow roots so my pale limbs can twist into a tree (the way L and I talked about it in therapy). I tell him that my soul is lonely and the ground is the only thing that's always there. I tell him that bare skin is sensitive and stroking it with every (twelfth) step is a soothing form of self-care

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Schizophrenia

Voices whisper in your ear; Sweetest nothings, greatest fears. All your life your friend is there, Waiting with a tale to share. Threats are blown into the air, Ever present, meant to scare. Someone tails your every move; A hidden fiend, free to rove. Disembodied voices say: Never dare to disobey. Your friend arrives with a grin, A plan in mind, a great sin. Trembling grips your paling hand. Someone whispers their command. Terrified, you call to me, Hoping I can set you free. But as you point out your friend, Wishing that this all would end, My answer renews your fear: I see no one standing there.

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Schizophrenia

Holding on to a thought has always been... difficult for me. They're so rarely interesting enough to hold my attention for more than a few seconds. Quite often, I'll tune out what someone is saying because something they said sparks a thought which leads to another thought which leads to another thought... No, I don't get distracted by shiny objects. I'm a human, not a magpie. I never really cared that I wasn't listening to what people were saying. My thoughts, as cascading as they are, were always more interesting than they were. Eventually, I did away with people entirely, living in my own stream of consciousness. Even now, it is difficul

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One tie Bonds two souls, Hate grows. Stronger, stronger, Stronger. I hate you. More than anything, Anything, I hate you. I long to see your body lie, Lifeless. I long for your eyes, To stare without seeing, Forever. I long for your blood to run, Like a river. To stain my hands with murder, Murder, murder, Death. Your death. As much of s blessing it would be, Death is not enough for me, And my Hate, My true pure Hate Remember… My only reason for your continued life, Is what is left of my sanity. But I will find a way to hurt you. To kill you. To kill, To kill. Our tie won’t last And then… My Hat

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My thoughts wandered back into my fourth grade mind frame. She had beautiful blonde hair and blue eyes, And a perfectly white smile that reflected the sunlight like a mirror. She was a good teacher, mmmhmmm, good to look at, And I even knew it back then, Before I knew I was a lesbian. Roses are red, Violets are blue, Ranbows are red, orange, yellow, green, blue, and purple, And so am I! My thoughts wandered back into memories of Sam, my first girlfriend. She was shorter than I was, with wavy black curls, And with hazel eyes that seemed so enchanting, And she had beautiful pale white skin, mmmhmmm, lovely girl, And I knew it

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I found meaning In words so unspoken, And the places No eye catches. In the shade of behemoth movement, Watching a life Behind the borders of mind, Without a breath or word A reason to question the air above my head. How I breathe And am held down, And crawl through forests Still as the sky. Release burden, And listen to what was always there Between branches and channels, And breathe. Learn from each To know yourself. And the one's you would surrender it all for. Continue with that emblem To reaches Out of corners. Make the road your own. Forget each curve And listen in silence. There we fi

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Closer

too close to see, you are too close to me, an eclipsing gaze, all arms across us, i wouldn't leave, if i could go but you know this - you knew of love once you want to know again, you try to kiss me, as if drawing love out, and breathing love in, die again and again, you'd rather, than death you've almost known, too close for comfort

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Not For Me, For You

not for me to feel - nothing as far as i can see, nothing close to me, my heart is deeper under, the black wells of forget, tears are the only stars i see, why do stars burn to live dreams are mute walls; sky is lost to a vapor moon - i drift, not forever is a veil i will wear to cover me from the absence of myself; i will hide behind the anonymity of trees, for you to feel left behind

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She Dances With Fire

She dances with fire, a dragon in tow. Twirling with flames; graceful and slow She dances tonight, in a city of ash. Her feet leaving footprints, where the sand will splash. Quietly mourning, as time goes by; Where once she beheld a home in her eyes... Yet naught but the barest of bones remain, And so she dances, to soothe the pain.

Senior Chair

N0-R3AL-PR0BL3MS

Published: Aug 31, 2010

377 Views

Description

taken by my cousins boyfriend. he did an excellent job. this is one of my senior pictures.

all credit to sean

Image size

2897x1927px 4.95 MB

Make

NIKON CORPORATION

Model

NIKON D40

Shutter Speed

1/60 second

Aperture

F/4.0

Focal Length

26 mm

ISO Speed

1600

Date Taken

Jul 9, 2010, 9:30:43 PM

Comments19

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Dari-Ra

Oct 2, 2011

I feel like i should be bowing down to you, your highness

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